By Devna Chopra ‘21
It’s that time of the year again. Christmas trees and fairy lights in every window, the smell of pine and peppermint in the air, red and green colors saturating the world, and a the constant drone of Hallmark movies in households all across the country. Hallmark holiday movies are the backbone of our culture, representing the struggles of every man, woman, and child during this trying, yet festive, time.
Every year, I, like many others, walk into my Home Alone-esque house, decorated to the nines with way more holly and pine and lights than I can afford, recline in my living room while gazing up at my 15-foot tall, gauze-and-glass-ornament-covered tree, topped with a three pound Swarovski crystal star as I casually sip away at a glass of sparkling cider and lament of my lack of romantic endeavors to my best friends and coworkers. My main and only conflict of the season is that my singular love interest doesn’t seem to look at me just the way I want him to.
Hallmark movies depict an ideal life, the pinnacle of convenience. Anytime anyone needs to travel, things go smoothly. Children with variations of the names Chris, Nick, Holly, and Noelle run around, wreaking havoc in the unavoidable snow, which also always happens on the night of Christmas Eve. The protagonist and her lover confess their undying love for each other and share a tender embrace for the first time. Bonus points if a group of carolers appears at some point to really solidify that romantic atmosphere.
This relationship will be the most stable relationship, since it will start on approximately December 21, and probably be created by our protagonist to avoid the pressure from their family to “find a man and settle down.” Our young couple is most probably a pair of coworkers that may not get along too amazingly, but are both incredibly attractive, so it only makes sense that this relationship ensues. Their relationship will have some bumps along the way: a classic case of miscommunication that involves a second man that has feelings for our protagonist, but whom she doesn’t love back. This issue will happen on December 23, and leading into Christmas Eve, all parties involved will be miserable.
On the morning of the 24th, the protagonist will sit down–miserable, wearing pajamas and moping into a glass of coffee graciously given to them by their mother/sister/female best friend or co-worker—and once again lament their relationship. The man our protagonist doesn’t love will have resolved his own feelings overnight, only encouraging her to pursue her dream man. That night, as pure white snowflakes drift down from above, the two will lay out their feelings and have a heart to heart, telling each other that they actually love each other as more than just their fake relationship. They’ll kiss in front of a beautiful community Christmas tree, and head back to the protagonist’s family home to celebrate their love while the family comments on their change of demeanor and the single friend/family member that was in the know on the protagonist’s dilemma slips them a sly comment or wink.
Hallmark movies truly are the most accurate representation of relationships during the holiday, and really turn any day in December into Christmas. The next thing to do is create your own winter romance. Just follow the steps graciously given to us by the Hallmark Channel.