Name: Matt Caputo
Likes: Reading, watermelon, and scintillating conversation.
Dislikes: Star Wars prequels.
Favorite Hangout Spot: My barn.
Favorite Subject: AP Nap.
Spirit Animal: Panda bears because I’m large, soft, and I do little but eat and sleep.
Favorite Artist: Salvador Dali.
Favorite Food: Bacon jalepeño mac and cheese.
Favorite Drink: Lemon with a little bit of water.
Best Vacation: My cousin’s Hawaiian wedding.
What makes me laugh: Bread.
What do I look for in a partner: Bread appreciation.
Perfect First Date: Sitting down at a cute local bakery and ignoring each other for those succulent, yeasty loaves.
Best Cheesy Pick Up Line: “Excuse me, but you dropped something.” “What?” “Your standards. Nice to meet you, I’m Matt Caputo.”
Future Occupation: I am, and always will be, Mr. Unionville.
Greatest Accomplishment: Smuggling a series of watermelons through the borders of a German-speaking town.